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All Hallows – Chapter 7

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on November 17, 2017
Posted in: books, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, ghost hunting, gloom, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, horror, Paranormal, scary, sleeplessness, writers, writing. Tagged: Fiction, Horror, Ireland, Novels. Leave a comment

Last night wasn’t too bad, she thought, as she helped David in to his coat. He’d been in a better mood and only someone in her position could understand what she meant by this. When he wasn’t too far gone, he used the back of his hand on her and she got the odd punch in the ribs, but there were darker times. Times when the drink brought an impotent rage surging to the surface and he used his fist. At such times, the floor as it rushed up to meet her felt softer than his knuckles. Yet no matter how hard he beat her she still clung to him, hoping one day…but that day would never come and she knew this, deep down. Any tenderness he felt for her was replaced with a simmering loathing. He blamed her for his inability to hold down a job, even through he’d managed to stay in his present one for the past six years. He saw the children as a weight around his neck, but his Catholic upbringing forbids her from using contraception. He was unaware of the packet of pills she’d hidden under the mattress. This kept her going, the fact she wouldn’t have any more children. Though she loved the ones she had, she knew bringing more into the world was a greater sin than taking the pill. No child should go without the most basic things, especially food. This reminded her there wasn’t anything for their lunch and the familiar gnawing pain in her gut started up.

“Ready?” She looked down at the children, who had clustered around the front door.

“Our lunch?” Abbey asked.

“I don’t know,” Lorraine felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. “I don’t have any money left and your father won’t be paid for another two days, I just…”She gasped and started to rummage in her bag. Pulling out a book, she flipped open the cover and stared at the coupon inside. “I almost forgot,” she laughed.

It was her children’s allowance book and the payment was due today.

“We’re rich,” she hugged the children to her, but Abbey pulled away.

“What are you talking about?” She thought her mother was mad.

“Look, see,” Lorraine pushed the book towards her. “I can go to town with you and cash this. I’ll wait around and drop off something for you at lunch time. We can meet outside the school gates.”

“Oh, o.k.,” Abbey grudgingly agreed.

They set off for the short walk to the bus stop in much better mood. Lorraine couldn’t help, but noticed how threadbare David’s coat was, but she needed the money from the allowance for other things. There was no coal for the fire and it’d need to be ordered. At least now she could buy enough food to last them till payday. Tom took most of her money for drink.  What little she did manage to hide from him, or steal from his pockets when he rolled home too drunk to fight, soon went on necessaries. She’d been undecided about visiting the doctor, but now she’d have too. It meant a four hour wait until the children’s lunch break and the warmth of the waiting room would be a haven if only for an hour of two. This was the one occasion when she hoped there’d be a queue and she’d be spared having to stand around in the cold.

The children from the surrounding houses joined them as they walked. The other mothers nodded to her as she passed.

“I don’t know what she has to smile about,” one of them said, loud enough for her to hear. “You should’ve heard the racket coming from that house last night. It’s a disgrace if you ask me.”

Lorraine ignored her, but Abbey looked back at her mother and the accusation in her eyes stung.

“It’s not my fault,” Lorraine whispered, but her daughter looked away in disgust.

“Did you hear me?” The woman who’d been loudly voicing her complaint caught up with Lorraine.

“I’m sure even the dead heard you, Mrs O Brien,” Lorraine had enough bullying to put up with at home without taking it from her neighbors as well.

Though she was terrified of any sort of confrontation, there was no way she was going to have a harridan like the O Brien woman shouting at her in the street.

“I’d a good mind to call the police,” she shouted, and all those walking along the road stopped to listen.

“Then why didn’t you?” Lorraine turned to face her.

“I’d have send Joe down to the phone box if it hadn’t been so cold,” she retorted. “I don’t see why my husband should catch his death for the likes of you.”

“The likes of me,” Lorraine asked. “And what exactly does that mean?”

“Well,” for a moment the woman seemed stuck for words, then. “You should be able to keep that man of your under control, that’s all I’m saying. We don’t want to know your business,” she looked around at those assembled for support. “It’s not nice having to listen to screaming and fighting night after night, you know.”

“Do you think I start him off for my own amusement,” Lorraine asked. “Do you for one minute think I enjoy being hurt?”

The woman had the good grace to blush, when Lorraine pointed to her split lip.

“You leave my Mummy alone,” David took her by the hand. “Come on, Mummy, never mind the nasty woman.”

There were no further remarks as they climbed the hill to the bus stop. Getting into place behind those already gathered, Lorraine smiled to see Sarah Jacobs and her brother were already there.

“How are you, Sarah,” she asked.

“Better than you, Mrs Ryan, I imagine” she nodded at the puffy lip.

“Yes,” Lorraine laughed. “That’s true.”

She was fond of Sarah, and she knew like her, her life was not an easy one.

“Was that Mrs O Brien doing all the shouting?” Sarah asked.

“Yes,” Lorraine leaned closer and whispered. “It seems the sound of Tom’s fist hitting my face is disturbing her.”

“Take no notice of her,” Sarah craned her head out to glare at the woman. “She’s a bitch.”

Yes, Lorraine had to agree, and so was life. Just one long round of bitchiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All Hallows – Chapter 6

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on November 10, 2017
Posted in: books, Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, ghost hunting, gloom, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, Halloween, Haunted Houses, horror, Paranormal, passion, scary, twlight, writers, writing. Tagged: cruelty, Fiction, Ghosts, Gothic, graveyards. burial mounds, Horror, Novels, Online Writing, silence. Leave a comment

 

 

 

CHAPTER SIX

 

 

“Does it hurt much, Mummy?”

Lorraine tried to ignore the soft touch of the small hand on the top of her head and concentrated on tying the shoelace. She took pains making sure the bow was in place, anything to avoid looking up into the questioning eyes of her youngest child.

“It’s not so bad,” she stood, and tossed his curls. “Hardly anything to fuss about and it doesn’t hurt, really,” she assured him.

David was always the first one up in the morning. The minute he heard her moving about he was out of bed, anxious to begin the day. His sisters Abbey, nine and Chelsea six, were like their father and it took ages to rouse them. Setting out three bowls for the cereal, Lorraine took the last remaining carton of milk from the fridge and frowned. There wasn’t enough left and with no money to buy more, she walked to the sink and turned on the cold tap. By the time the girls took their place at the table, she’d mixed the diluted milk and poured it over their cereal.

“Yuk,” Abbey complained. “This milk tastes like water.”

“Its low fat,” her mother explained, hoping she’d accept this.

“No, its not,” she scowled and jutting out her lower lip, pushed the bowl away with more force than was necessary.

Some of the contents slopped over the side and she sneered at her mother’s look of reproach. Ignoring her, Lorraine took a cloth from beside the sink and mopped up the mess.

“It is a bit yucky,” Chelsea agreed with her sister.

“I like it,” David shovelled another spoonful into his mouth and beamed up at his mother.

Despite being just four-years-old, Lorraine felt he was her only ally in the battle constantly raging around her. The girls were little madams and tended to gang up on her at every opportunity. Neither of them remarked on her split lip or the noise their father made the night before. Sometimes, when the beating were particularly severe, she got the impression they felt she deserved it. This was nonsense of course. Like all little girls they felt the sun rose in their father’s eyes and it wasn’t a matter of taking sides. No, she decided they were too young to understand what was going on.

 

A noise from overhead made them look up at the ceiling. A drinking session in the pub last night meant their father was late as usual for work and he wouldn’t be in a good humour. Though his job with the county council wasn’t demanding, they expected to see evidence of his work on their weekly visit to the area. It involved nothing more than tree cutting and keeping the bushes and hedges in some sort of order. The house came with the job and this gave Lorraine reason to worry. If he lost his job, they’d be homeless, and there was little else available in such a remote area. Huddled among a group of six others and built over sixty years before, it stood out from the cottages around it by having a second storey, but the interior was much the same. The only heat came from the fire in the sitting room; the rest of the house was freezing.

The thundering on the stairs made them look down at their breakfasts. Even Chelsea pulled her bowl back in front of her and made pretence of eating the soggy cereal.

“Where’s my lunch,” their father looked around the kitchen.

“There’s no bread left, Tom,” his wife said. “I only had enough for the kids’ lunch.”

“I told you I was working over at Kelly’s today, didn’t I?”

Lorraine knew he’d be too far away to make it home to eat and anyway, there was nothing left. All their money went on his drink.

“I know, but what can I do,” She held her hands out in surrender. “The kids need something during the day.”

Storming past her, he picked up the three small parcels of food.

“They can fuckin starve for all I care,” he wafted by her in a haze of stale beer and cigarette smoke.

Not until they heard the slamming of the front door, did the children dare to speak.

“What will we do for lunch, Mummy?” Chelsea looked up at her wide eyed.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Lorraine bit down on her lip and moaned.

She’d forgotten in her worry about the cut and the touch of her teeth on the tender skin sent shockwaves of pain coursing through her body. Leaning on the table she closed her eyes and waited for the pain to subside.

“Are you all right, Mummy?” David got down from his chair and came over to her.

“Yes, I’m, fine,” her words were gasps as her body shook from the pain.

Her reaction frightened the girls, who watched her every move.

“We better get you ready for school,” she was shaking as she combed the children’s hair.

Her ribs felt sore and she wondered if another visit to the doctor was in order. She knew what his reaction would be to the bruising and cut lip, but at least he’d give her some painkillers. He was a gentle man, Dr Miller, good and kind; not in the condescending bedside manner way, but you saw it in his eyes. There was gentleness about the way he examined her various injuries and it pained her to see the horror and admonishment in his face when she refused to go to the police. Not even on the numerous occasions when Tom hospitalized her, had she resorted to calling in the law. With no family of her own, she’d nowhere to go. She wouldn’t subject her children to some hostel or home for battered wives. As long as Tom never raised his hand to the children, she’d remain at home.

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All Hallows – Chapter 5

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on November 3, 2017
Posted in: Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, ghost hunting, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, honoring the dead, horror, Paranormal, scary, writers, writing. Tagged: Fiction, Ghosts, Halloween, Horror, Ireland, Novels, sadness. Leave a comment

Chapter Five

 

Filling her mother’s mug to the brim, she added a drop of milk the way she liked it and six sugars.

“I know what you’re thinking,” her mother said to anyone who remarked on the amount of sugar she used. “I’m sweet enough, but my trouble is I have a very sweet tooth.”

Sweet enough, Sarah slapped a slice of bread and butter down onto a chipped plate, her mother didn’t have a sweet bone in her body. The larder was lined with tins of cat food, but there wasn’t anything for her children to eat. Most of their clothes came from charity shops or were donated by some of the neighbors. She knew from searching through her mother’s bag, her father sent enough money to keep them well looked after. His letters were hidden from her, but on the odd occasion she managed to retrieve one before it was burnt, she drank in the words on the page, especially when the asked about her and Brian. If only Daddy stayed, she felt her eyes grow bright with tears; things would’ve been different.

A fog of cigarette smoke made her cough, and she moved cagily in the direction of her mother’s bed.

“What took you so long?” Her mother glared at her through the smoke.

“The cats went to the toilet all over the kitchen,” she explained, as she laid the mug and plate onto the bedside table.

“You leave those cats alone,” a claw encircled her wrist, and she felt the filthy nails dig deep into her skin.

“I didn’t touch them,” she tried to pull away. “I opened the window to let them out.”

“They’re my friends,” her mother gritted her teeth and pulled Sarah closer, so she could smell the combination of early morning breath and the bitter reek of tobacco. “If I ever see you touching them, you’ll be sorry, do you hear?”

“Yes,” Sarah managed to get free, and rubbed at the lines of blood in her skin.

“Now, get to school,” her mother picked up the mug. “I don’t want you under my feet all day.” Then, as an afterthought, asked. “Is your brother up?”

“Yes, he’s eating his breakfast.”

“That’s strange,” her mother narrowed her eyes. “I haven’t heard him moving about.”

“No,” Sarah could feel the familiar knot of fear forming in her stomach. “I had to clean up the kitchen, so I let him eat it in bed.”

“What did I just tell you about leaving the cats alone,” her mother turned and picked up the thick slice of bread and butter.

Sarah knew what was about to happen and was already slipping out the bedroom door, when her mother threw it. She heard the soft thud as it struck the wood and then… nothing. The butter acted as a paste and she bit her lip and tried not to laugh as she imagined it stuck there. Mad bitch, she thought, as the sting from her wrist reminded her it needed attention.

 

Carrying the kettle into the bathroom, she placed the rubber stopper in the sink, and emptied the water in. The noise in the ancient pipes started up the moment she turned on the cold-water tap. Taking a bottle of antiseptic from its hiding place beneath the bath, Sarah poured a small amount into the sink. In the beginning, she’d been ashamed, when she’d to resort to stealing from her mother’s purse, but she’d no choice. Not a week went by when she didn’t break this commandment, and while Father Brown always gave her absolution and told her not to sin again, she felt he understood.

They were short the most basic thing. The small pair of panties lying across the top of the bath reminded her of this. She owned two pairs and needed to wash one every night before going to bed. The fact there were no radiators on which to hang them, meant she went to school most days in damp underwear. Her one bra had seen better days, and she could only wash this at the weekend. She could’ve gone without it as it didn’t have much to support, the bullies reminded her.

Plunging her sore wrist beneath the water, she held it there until the antiseptic did its work and the stinging subsided. The cloth she used to wash smelled musty, but it was difficult to get anything dry now winter was here. Picking up the clean panties, she brought them to her face and sniffed. They smelled clean, but were damp around the elastic in the waist and legs. She knew this would chafe and cause her discomfort during the day. Leaving the cloth soaking in the milky- white water, she hurried back to the bedroom to rouse her brother.

“There’s water in the sink,” she whispered. “Hurry now or we’ll be late.”

She dressed quickly, aware he’d be quick, and was straightening the beds when he came back.

“Why didn’t you eat this?” She held out an egg.

“I saved it for you,” he pushed her hand away. “Everyone says you’re getting very thin.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“Johnny’s mother,” he mumbled, as he adjusted the faded collar of his shirt.

“You haven’t been telling her anything about us, have you?” She asked.

“No, Sarah,” he turned around wild-eyed. “I promise. She saw you in town and said she thought you’d got very thin, that’s all.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said you were always like that,” his lower lip trembled.

“It’s o.k.,” she ruffled his hair. “There’s no harm done, and the next time she says anything, just tell her I’m on a diet.”

“I will,” he said, pulling his school bag out from under his bed.

“I’ll put this in with your lunch,” she opened the paper bag and dropped the egg in. “I don’t really like eggs, but thanks for thinking about me.”

It was an unwritten rule, they’d never tell anyone about the way they were forced to live. Sarah was too young to be allowed to care for her brother, and the prospect of being taken into care terrified them both. Once they remained together they could face most things. It was a crappy life, they knew, but it was their crappy life.

 

 

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All Hallows – Chapter 4

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on October 27, 2017
Posted in: Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, gloom, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, Haunted Houses, honoring the dead, horror, literary agents, Paranormal, passion, scary, the true meaning of Halloween, twlight, Witchcraft, Witches, writers, writing. Tagged: Cat, cruelty, Fantasy, Ghosts, Gothic, graves, graveyards, Horror, Ireland, priests, sadness, writing. Leave a comment

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

It was the smell that woke Sarah. Its scent wafted through the cracks in the wall, as her mother lit her first cigarette of the day. There wasn’t any need for an alarm clock, as this event was her signal to rise. The stench of the tobacco was everywhere. Its willowy trails permeated her clothes, her books, even her skin and hair. Despite keeping the bedroom door shut, it managed to sneak its way in, but its odour was nothing compared to that of cats.

The pounding of her mother’s fist on the wall roused her, and she slipped from beneath the bedclothes. The room was freezing, and when she pulled back the thin curtains, the glass inside the window was transformed into a crystal spider’s web. Shivering, she touched the pattern and watched as the ice melted beneath her fingers.

“What is it, Sarah?”

The whisper from the bed made her draw back her hand.

“It’s ice, Brian,” she smiled at her little brother. “It’s going to be a chilly winter this year.”

“Oh, no,” he groaned, and pulled the covers back over his head.

Though ten-years-old, the memories of past winters were fresh in his mind, and the nights of bone-numbing cold couldn’t be erased. The cottage was a tumbledown affair, built in a time before insulation or central heating. It was tiny in comparison with modern standards. On one side of the building there was a kitchen, which also served as sitting room. A small hallway led to the two bedrooms and an ancient bathroom, where the plumbing was salvaged from another age. There was no boiler and consequently no hot water, other than to boil a kettle on the old stove in the kitchen. This was Sarah’s first task of the day, once she’d brought breakfast to her mother, to boil enough water to wash them both.

“Stay there,” she patted the humped shape under the covers. “I think there’s some eggs in the larder, I’ll call you when they’re ready.”

“Thanks, Sarah,” came the muffled reply.

Since the cottage was small, she had to share a room with her brother. Although he could be a bit of a pain at times, she didn’t mind. They were used to respecting one another’s privacy, when it came to dressing or undressing. With two small single beds, there wasn’t much room to move. An old tea chest, her mother found, served as their wardrobe. What little clothes they had were folded inside, and despite Sarah’s attempts to clean away any evidence of its cargo, the black grains of tea managed to get in their clothes and had to be shaken away like the husks of dead fleas.

Slipping her school jumper over her nightdress, she walked into the hallway. It seemed colder here, and she hurried towards the kitchen, hoping to find warmth in the fire’s dying embers. The smell felt like a smack in the face, when she opened the door, and she drew back in disgust. She waited for the shock from the acidic fumes to pass, before attempting to go in. Her mother, aware the night would be a cold one, allowed her menagerie of cats to sleep indoors. Most were feral strays, which the confines of the room terrified, and they’d shown their displeasure by the amount of faeces and pools of urine lining the stone floor. Tired from numerous attempts to escape, they’d settled down in front of the fire or on top of the table. Once Sarah appeared they arose en-mass, arching their backs and yawning. Some mewed piteously; others narrowed their eyes and hissed.

Holding her hand over her nose, Sarah tiptoed across the room, trying to avoid the puddles on the stones, but it was difficult in the half light. She felt the wetness on the toes of her worn slippers. Flinging back the curtains, she threw open the window and picked up a broom.

“Out,” she ordered the last of the stragglers, who unlike their comrades refused to make a bolt for freedom. “Out, I said,” she swung the broom at the nearest group hitting a ginger tabby, who snarled at her before heading for the window.

Once they’d disappeared into the bone-chilling mist outside, she’d no choice, but to let the window to stay open. The fumes burned the lining in her nose, as she placed the kettle on the stove. As she waited for the water to boil, she started cleaning up the floor. Using an old newspaper, she managed to pick up most of the faeces, but the smell was too much on her delicate stomach, and she decided to leave the rest for her mother to deal with. The water from the lone tap in the sink stung her hands like needles of ice, as she washed away the dirt of the cats’ droppings.

Taking two eggs from the larder, she placed them in pot of water to boil. Brian would have to eat his breakfast in the bedroom, as there was no telling what germs were floating about in the kitchen. The kettle bubbled, so she placed some teabags in a pot and filled it. While she waited for it to brew, she took the loaf of bread out of the larder and tried to cut it on a small board on her lap. There was no way she’d use the kitchen table, not until it was scrubbed clean, and this would have to wait until after school. It was difficult to cut the loaf, and she wondered for the millionth time, why her mother insisted on buying the uncut bread. Sarah’s life would be so much easier if she’d buy sliced bread. The old rusty fridge yielded nothing more than some sliced ham, and this was curled and dry around the edges. The packet said it was still in date, and it she used to make sandwiches for her brother’s lunch. Sarah never took anything other than a slice of bread and butter. She rarely felt hungry, and if she did, she could eat it quickly before anyone saw the huge chunk. An assortment of paper bags was crushed into a dresser drawer, and she chose the cleanest two to wrap their lunches. God forbid, they should have cling wrap like civilised people.

The eggs were bubbling when she finished, and she’d forgotten the cold streaming through the open window, as she scooped them out of the pot. Making two small cone shapes from old newspaper, she placed an egg in each. Picking up a spoon and a slice of bread, she carried them back into her bedroom.

“Here you go, lazy bones,” she tapped her foot on the side of the bed.

Her brother emerged from beneath the covers.

“Don’t think I’ll be doing this every day,” she warned. “The bloody cats were in all night and the kitchen stinks to high heaven. Can you manage?” She asked, as he tried to balance to eggs.

“Yeah, no problem,” he tapped on the top of the egg.

“O.K., don’t get shell everywhere, or you won’t be able to sleep tonight if it gets into the sheets.”

“Hey, Sarah,” he called, and she turned back. Waving the egg-filled spoon at her, he smiled. “Look at me, I’m like a King.”

“Well, hurry up, King Brian,” she laughed, “You’ll need to have a wash before school.”

A harsh, racking cough from the room next door signaled her mother’s discontent at being kept waiting for her breakfast.

“Excuse me, my lord,” Sarah whispered, bowing to her brother, before hurrying away.

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All Hallows – Chapter 3

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on October 20, 2017
Posted in: Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, gloom, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, Halloween, Haunted Houses, honoring the dead, horror, Paranormal, scary, Witchcraft, Witches, writers, writing. Tagged: Fiction, Ghosts, Gothic, graves, graveyards, Halloween, hauntings, Horror, Novels, priest. Leave a comment

 

Chapter Three

 

“I swear before God,” her hand closed on the crucifix hanging around her neck. “Nothing you say to me will leave this room, and I do want to help, in any way I can.”

He knew she was sincere in her offer, and not one to go about spreading idle gossip. Like him, she was lonely, and the lines on her face told their own story. Life wasn’t easy for her.

“It’s nothing concrete, you understand,” he decided to trust her. “And I can’t betray what I heard in the confessional.”

“I understand that, Father,” she nodded. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you, but if telling me a little of what bothers you eases the burden, I’d like to help.”

“You know about the two sudden deaths last October?” He asked.

“Yes, the suicide and the murder.”

“You think one of the deaths was murder?” Her answer amazed him, and gave him comfort he wasn’t alone in his suspicions.

“The whole place knows it was, but as the coroner said, there was no proof, and the murderer got away with it.”

He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, relieved the wickedness in his own thoughts was echoed by others.

“I heard their last confessions,” he roused himself and went back to his tale. “Only hours before they died, and I did nothing to help.”

“How could you, Father?” Norah asked. “As you said the confessional is sacrosanct.”

“The knowledge gives me little comfort, I’m afraid, but you’re right. I couldn’t break the seal of confession, and it haunts me. That, and the promised each of them made to me,” his eyes grew troubled. “It’s exactly a year ago tonight, you know?”

“No, I didn’t know,” Norah pulled her coat around her shoulders. “I knew it happened around this time, but not the exact date.”

“I knew each of them well,” he said. “I christened little Sarah Jacobs. She was fifteen when she died, and I met Lorraine Ryan on the day she moved here,” he looked around the room. “I called offering to help with the move, but she’d little material possessions, and most of the furnisher was falling to pieces, but she was glad of the offer, and we became friends. You know in the old days,” he said. “I’m not talking about the last century or the one before, but going back maybe forty years ago, they buried suicides outside the walls of the graveyard, and not only suicides, but babies who were not baptised and unmarried mothers. They thought them unfit to lie in consecrated ground, God help us,” he put his head in his hands and his voice was muffled. “So much harm was done in the name of God.”

“They were superstitious times,” Norah said. “I remember reading how they buried suicides at crossroads with a stake through their hearts.”

He looked up at her.

“Well, we haven’t come far since then.”

“It’s this place, Father,” she said. “Folk have little to occupy their time, and the old superstitions die hard. It’s different in the cities with the drugs and people overdosing right, left and centre.”

“Ah, now, Norah,” he laughed, at the casualness of her words. “I don’t think they’re dying that fast.”

“Well, you know what I mean,” she sniffed and straightened her shoulders.

“I know,” he didn’t want to offend her. “It seems like it, if the news reports are to be believed.”

“The young one,” Norah asked. “Did you know her?”

“Sarah, yes,” he paused. “Better than I know most of the young ones. I’ve met them at communion and confession, but many have moved away from the church. Sarah sought me out during the last few weeks of her life, both did. That’s why I know so much about them, and there’s no harm in telling you what I know. What I do know of Sarah is her life wasn’t an easy one. Have you met her mother, she’s the one with all the cats?”

“I know who you’re talking about. You can smell the cottage before you see it. She strikes me as a bit odd in the head.”

“That’s her; the poor woman should’ve been hospitalized years ago, but her husband wouldn’t hear of it. You haven’t been here long enough to know any of their stories, have you?” He asked.

“No, I’ve just picked up bits and pieces of gossip from the locals,” she said.

“Would you like to hear the truth?”

“Yes, Father, indeed I would.”

He consulted the clock on the mantelpiece.

“We’ve a few hours before mass and their stories will take some time in telling, but if you’re willing I’ll tell you how each of them came to be lying prematurely in the grave. Then you can judge if they’re at rest; or if as I suspect, tonight will see the beginning of a nightmare.”

“I’d be glad to listen,” Norah croaked, her mouth was dry from the tension.

“It’s hard to believe I used to enjoy the solitude of my calling. My sleep was free of terrors and my days spent in restful study of my books. It seems so long ago now, and it was brought to an end by what I’m about to tell you.”

His voice, once he began was unstoppable. There was a gluttonous intent in his outpourings. Norah settled back in her chair and nestled deeper into the warmth of her coat. She tried to make her face remain impassive, and did nothing to interrupted as the sad panorama of the two lives unfolded.

Father Brown watched her, looking for signs of disbelief. He knew as he spoke, she thought he was exaggerating, or the events were clouded, as his mind grew feeble with age. Still, he couldn’t miss this opportunity to unburden himself, and if as he suspected, the night ahead was filled with horror, there’d be someone who knew the truth.

Tonight, he’d face his demons. Though this word was not one he’d use to describe the poor, restless souls in the churchyard. The trauma and turmoil each felt at the last moment wouldn’t have left them unaffected and this was what he dreaded most. It was the one thing he couldn’t divulge to Norah, the urgent, angry whispers he’d heard in the confessional, as each one vowed revenge on those who’d hurt them.

 

 

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All Hallows – Chapter 2

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on October 13, 2017
Posted in: books, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, ghost hunting, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, Halloween, honoring the dead, Paranormal, scary, the true meaning of Halloween, Witchcraft, Witches, writers, writing. Tagged: Ghosts, Gothic, graves, graveyards, Halloween, haunting, Horror, priest. Leave a comment

CHAPTER TWO

 

The air was colder than when she entered the church. Though it was still early in the afternoon, Norah saw the glitter of frost on the grass. Tying her headscarf under her chin, she hoisted the heavy shopping bag she carried into the crook of her arm, and set off the short distance to the priest’s house. Weaving her way along the path leading to the side gate, she couldn’t help, but notice how the style and size of the headstones changed over the years. The grander ones, carved into the form of angels in white granite from the local quarry, were outnumbered by the smaller, marble markers. Muttering a prayer for those lying beneath the earth in restless sleep, she crossed herself and tried to banish such thoughts. It’s the time of year, she decided, it sends the imagination wild, and it was any wonder. Everywhere you looked there were effigies of monsters or skeletons. It was enough to give somebody nightmares.

Flecks of old paint came away on her hands, as she pushed against the latch on the small gate. The hinges were rusted with age, and groaned protesting the intrusion, as she pushed it open. Tutting, she surveyed the grey flecks on her fingers, before running her hands down the front of her coat. It wouldn’t do to turn up for tea with dirty hands, and she was fussy about cleanliness. Like the gate, the front door was showing signs of wear, as she lifted the old-fashioned knocker and tapped twice.

“Come in, Norah, come in,” Father Brown opened the door and stood aside to let her pass.

Though stooped with age, he was much taller than her, and she felt dwarfed in his presence. The hallway was dark after the glare of the sun, so she stood for a moment to let her eyes adjust.

“This way,” he motioned, and she followed his dark silhouette. “I have the fire lighting in here,” he opened a door and led her into the sitting room. “I’ll be back in a moment,” he gestured to a chair. “You make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you, Father,” Norah allowed the shopping bag to slip from her arm and took off her coat and scarf.

She heard him rattling about in the kitchen preparing the tea, and this gave her time to look around. Despite the blazing fire the room was chilly, and she rubbed her hands down her arms, trying to bring life back to her cold skin. Like the hallway, this room was shrouded in shadow, and seemed to come from another time. She knew it wasn’t a phoney attempt by some designer trying to replicate the Victorian era, but the way the furnishings had been for over a hundred years. The stuffed armchairs were comfortable, though faded with time. The arms showed the most sign of wear, as the brocade was worn and stuffing protruded through the fabric. Yellowing antimacassars draped over the back of each chair. On the mantelpiece above the fire, a black, ornate carriage clock ticked loud enough to make its presence felt. An old china cabinet held an assortment of cups and plates, and on top sat a stuffed owl in a glass dome.

“Here we are,” Father Brown shuffled in and put a stop to any further probing. “It’s going to be a bitter night,” he placed a tray on the coffee table.

She saw how his hands shook, as he reached for the teapot.

“Here, Father,” she stood. “Let me do it.”

He relinquished this task, and moved away to sit in the chair opposite.

“There you go,” she placed a cup and saucer on an occasional table beside him and offered the sugar bowl. For a while neither of them spoke, and she watched, as he stared into the flames. His face showed signs of strain and his brow furrowed, as though he was trying to remember something. His eyes had the haunted look she’d noticed developing over the past weeks.

“Are you all right, Father?” She asked.

“I’m fine, Norah,” he turned and looked at her. “Feeling my age, that’s all.”

She concentrated on stirring her tea. The only sound came from the clanking of the spoon against the sides of the cup.

“Are the graves troubling you, Father,” she asked. “The ones that won’t settle?”

He nodded, and fumbled in the pocket of his threadbare cardigan for a handkerchief. She noticed, as he wiped his eyes, how the veins showed on hands shrunken with age. Despite his years, his dark hair lost none of its colour with just a scattering of grey at the temples. Rather than giving him a more youthful look, it served to emphasise the pallor of his skin.

“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, Father,” Norah didn’t know what to do. Should she stay sitting or make her excuses and leave?

“No, no,” he brushed aside her apology. “It’s nothing you said. I’m feeling a bit run down, and now with the worry…” he stopped and looked towards the window.

She knew he was picturing the graveyard.

“I heard some foolish talk,” Norah tried to brighten the mood. “You know how it is here, Father, with everyone caught up in everyone else’s business.”

“I’ve heard it too,” he turned back to her. “But what troubles me the most is how foolish is it?”

“Come now, Father,” she laughed. “Surely you don’t believe in those old wives’ tales?”

“I don’t” he paused. “At least I didn’t, until now.”

Norah shivered. Sensing her distress, he smiled.

“I’m not going to bother you with my nonsense,” he emptied his cup and held it out for a refill.

“I know it’s not nonsense, Father,” Norah picked up the teapot, glad of its warmth. “I’ve noticed how you’ve changed over the past few months. Perhaps, if you talked about it?”

“Perhaps, perhaps,” he sighed, and sipped at his tea.

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The true meaning of Halloween.

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on October 10, 2017
Posted in: Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Eerie Places, fiction, Ghost, gloom, graves, graveyards, Halloween, Haunted Houses, honoring the dead, horror, Paranormal, scary, the true meaning of Halloween, twlight, writers, writing. Tagged: children, ghouls, graves, Halloween, honoring the dead, monsters, paranormal, scary, toffee apples, witches. Leave a comment

The shops are filled with garish costumes and the faces of ghouls, ghosts and witches line the aisles of most supermarkets as the children prepare the celebrate the season. It is a time for fire crackers, toffee apples and the breathless excitement that is Halloween. But there is another side, and one that will never change, and that is the sight of the candle in the window of most homes, as they light the way for their lost loved ones. As the flame cuts through the darkness, we want them to know that there is light even in the darkest place, and they are not forgotten. Names will be whispered about around roaring fires as we remember better times and better people. Many a tear will be shed, as on this night, when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest, our loss is somehow more profound. There is nothing strange or sinister in these beliefs, as here in Ireland, we live happily side by side with all manner of creatures be they ghost, wraith or banshee. So, we wait, as the dark nights come creeping in to honor our dead and leave an extra log on the fire before going to bed—just in case.

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All Hallows – Chapter 1

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on October 6, 2017
Posted in: Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Eerie Places, Fantasy, fiction, Ghost, ghost hunting, gloom, Gothic novel, graves, graveyards, Halloween, Haunted Houses, horror, Paranormal, Witchcraft, Witches. Tagged: graves. Leave a comment

                                                              CHAPTER ONE

 

Tonight, belongs to the dead and the living would do well to remember it. Father Brown tried to brush aside such morbid thoughts and smiled as another small group, comprised of witches, ghouls and a lone grim reaper swept by. He shivered and drew his coat collar around his throat. The wind carried with it a penetrating chill, and the last of the autumn leaves swirled around his feet, as he walked up the path to the church door. He looked neither left nor right, not wanting in his gloomy mood to acknowledge those of his parishioners lying beneath the earth. There was no mistaking the tremor in his hand as he tried to place the key in the lock, and it scraped against the brass surround leaving a deep scratch.

“Christ,” he licked his thumb and rubbed at the offending mark, but the metal from the key cut deep, and it would take more than a gentle rub to remove it.

He stopped to allow the trembling in his hands subside, and his eyes travelled up to the porch above his head. The doorway was unremarkable by some standards, though the archway was cut from a single stone. It was devoid of the finer carvings of scrolls or angels, but this wasn’t uncommon for a church in a rural community. Its congregation were unused to frills and flounces, the bishop informed him, as he handed over the keys to Father Joe’s first and only parish. He waited over forty years for this honour, and served his time as curate and underling to a host of priests, without a murmur of discontent as the younger and less experienced were promoted before him. He bided his time, and patience paid off. He’d been serving in this parish for over twenty-four years, and never once had he cause to regret it, until now.

Wanting to be free of these thoughts, he turned back to the door and this time managed to turn the key in the lock. The interior of the church was icy, and he cursed the ancient, unreliable heating system as he walked down the shadowy aisles. The evening mass wasn’t due to start until seven, so there were hours yet before his services were needed. Until then he’d be left alone with the horrible grey mood that descended. Edging his way into a pew at the centre of the church, he knelt in silent prayer until the ache in his knees urged him to sit. His tired eyes roamed around the familiar interior. It was an ordinary building, with no cellar beneath it to hide the tombs of past gentry, and no stone effigies of fallen knights to mar the aisles. The windows the usual semi-circular arch, and the stained glass showed a parade of saints and sinners. At the side of the altar sat the baptismal font. Carved from a huge stone hollowed to house the holy water, it sat unused and forlorn. It was years since the last christening, and it lay empty with just a small, green lime stain coating the bottom. The younger members of his congregation moved away to the city as soon as they were old enough. Only those tied to the place by farms or family businesses remained, and it was to this dwindling number he preached each Sunday.

Behind him, rising to a point above the porch, sat the bell turret. To have called it a tower would be boasting. To his right sat the confessional. Double sided with a half door in the centre, and a heavy, green, velvet curtain to hide his face once seated. It’s here he’s listened over the years to sins, some real, some imagined, of those desperate for absolution. It is the place he heard the last words of those who haunted his sleep, and who now, as the night of All Hallows drew nearer, made his heart race with the certain knowledge of an approaching terror.

A sudden blast of wind carried with it the smell of altar flowers that outlived their life span. The thud of the church door explained the cause of the draught, and he didn’t bother to turn around to see who it was. The footsteps drew nearer, their sound echoing in the silence and amplified by the high-vaulted ceiling.

“Ah, Father, I thought it was you,” the old woman stopped beside the pew. “I’m here to change the flowers,” she held out a bunch of yellow chrysanthemums.

The autumn wind picked the gardens bare of blooms, so she had to buy the flowers, and she wanted to make sure everyone knew of her sacrifice.

“That’s good of you, Norah,” he looked at the offering. “You must let me reimburse you.”

“Not at all, Father,” she puffed out her chest. “I’m delighted to do it. It gives me something to do.”

He watched, as she took the small vases off the altar and into the sacristy. There came the sound of running water, as she emptied and refilled them.

“There, now,” she came back and replaced the vases, fussing over the way the stems sat.

He saw there were red carnations scattered among the flowers, though overshadowed by the larger blooms and ferns, they seemed to his tortured mind like blazing, crimson orbs.

“Are you all right, Father?” Norah came down from the altar and was watching him with a worried look.

“I’m fine, Norah,” he rubbed at his eyes. “A bit tired, that’s all.”

“You should be taking it easier at your age,” she said. “You’re not getting any younger. Then neither am I.”

“You’re right,” he smiled and eased his way up out of the hard-wooden seat. “I’ll go back to the house. It’s warmer there. Maybe, you’ll come over when you’re finished, and I’ll make us some tea?”

“I’d be delighted,” she flushed at the honour of being asked to take tea with the priest. “I’ll come over as soon as I’m done here.”

She watched his retreating figure with a growing sense of worry. Father Brown was not a robust man, but of late he seemed thin almost to the point of emaciation. Something was disturbing him, she was sure of it and maybe with a bit of coaxing he’d tell her over tea. Running a dust cloth across the top of the altar, she wondered about the stories circulating. In a rural area, where everyone knew everyone else’s business, it was impossible not to hear what was whispered about. Being a relative newcomer; she paid little attention to the superstitions and old wives tales, but still. She shivered, as her mind strayed to the two, bare mounds in the graveyard and the cause of the talk.

 

She’s not a bad sort, Father Brown thought, as he made his way home. Norah Byrne came to live with her daughter a few months before. Escaping the hustle of city life for the relative quiet of the country, was how she explained her decision. It couldn’t have been an easy choice, as her son-in-law was a huge, gruff man and not one given to kindness. There was no peace under his roof, and this drove Norah to take the unpaid job of church warden. Though the job itself didn’t entail much work, it gave her an excuse to leave the house, and she found, as Father Brown had, a sanctuary there.

His house sat a few yards from the church gates. Within a stone’s throw of the graveyard, he always joked “They won’t have far to carry me far, when my time comes.”

The path through the graveyard was coated with the last of the autumn leaves and they crunched beneath his feet. From deep within their withered dryness rose a heady, decaying scent of mould and damp earth. He stopped and listened for a moment. The only sound came from the sighing of the breeze and somewhere in the distance the screams of the children, as they went about their tricks. Halloween started early in the day. There was too much distance between the houses to make it safe to do so by night, especially for the little ones. The teenagers were a handful, but they kept their pranks away from the church, and for this he was grateful.

Leaning on the gate, he looked across the fields, splendid in their quilt of autumns, brown, green and gold. To the city dweller, a place such as this would seem out of time. Used to a life surrounded by noise and confusion, they couldn’t imagine one could walk down a country lane so overgrown with bush and bramble the branches met overhead, only to come across an old farmhouse nestled among this chaos. Or a place where everyone knew who you were, and could recount tales of your grandparents and great-grandparents. There was a lot of good in living in the country, he sighed, but it was only in the last year he’d come across its dark side.

The serenity he’d known was stripped away in one night, and the calmness of the graveyard lost to him forever. There was no way out for him, other than stagnate in one of those god-forsaken homes for retired priests. He refused to end his days listening to their endless reminiscences of what they believed to be better days. He’d rather die in the service of his congregation, than rot away in some elephant’s graveyard. He knew once he’d gone the church would be closed. It was no longer financially viable to keep it open, not with the ever-decreasing numbers coming to his services. His superiors allowed him to continue there because he made no demands on their coffers, preferring to bear the burden of the running costs from the meager amount collected every Sunday on the offering plate.

Turning around, he looked back across the graveyard. To anyone unaware of its terrible secret, it seemed peaceful, with its large elm and oak trees, stripped bare now, but nevertheless solid and strong. To his frayed nerves, it was dark and forbidding, the only colour came from the berries on the holly bush. Moving back along the path, he saw the first of the two graves. He knew there was talk about them, and though his religion forbade belief in such things, he felt it was true. He was weary and feeling every one of his eighty-two years. Leaning one hand on the nearest headstone for support, he made the sign of the cross over the mound. This exercise was repeated once more before he was ready to go home. The last year was a horror, for beside the usual, sad deaths either from old age or sickness; there were two more which filled him with sorrow and dread. Sorrow, because of the needless loss of life, and dread because of the way one of the departed sought out death. Suicide, the word made him shiver, and he tried to huddle deeper into the neck of his coat. The second grave belonged to a young woman whose murderer was unpunished, but what haunted him most, was the fact he knew, suspected would be a kinder word, something dreadful was about to happen that day.

 

It began as it always did at that time of year with confessions. Halloween was the day of souls, and this was obvious by the fresh bouquets of flowers adorning the graves. Those who came to pay their respects to departed loved ones, also came to confession for the first time in a year. It became a cleansing of sorts for those who were not inclined to frequent the church, and they went away with a sense of well-being, knowing their souls and conscience were wiped clean Whatever happened over the next twelve months would be dealt with in the same way. He remembered listening to the whispers from beyond the grill, and giving absolution to those seeking forgiveness. It was his policy to neither judge nor reprimand, as people were who they were, and nothing he could say would change that. Once the first small wave passed, he’d stayed there hidden by the curtain and in silent prayer, when the groan of the confessional door roused him. Sliding back the latch, he closed his eyes and waited. Even now he heard her voice in his head. Hoarse from unshed tears, she stumbled through her confession, desperate to be done. Despite the darkness of the box, he knew her. She was very young. Her sadness touched him and he remembered whispering.

“Let me help you, child.”

“Please, father,” she sobbed. “Give me absolution.”

He knew by her urgent plea any further attempt would send her running from the box, so he did as she asked. Shaken and unnerved by this encounter, he sat back and prayed. The door of the confessional opened for the second time, and he waited with bated breath, hoping the sinner’s tale would be nothing to disturb his sleep, but fate was against him. What he heard made him put his head in his hands in horror. By the time he was finished for the night, his nerves were tingling and icy fingers of fear crept up his spine.

By nightfall both were dead; one by their own hand, and his life was changed forever. What he heard in the confessional was sacrosanct, but this knowledge did little to sustain him, as he presided over the funerals, or tried to comfort the bereaved. Neither did it comfort him during the long nights, when plagued with self-doubt; he walked the floor praying for sleep to come. It was now one year to the day, and the memory of their last words echoed in his head. If they, who lay under the mounds, which refused to settle, and on which no grass would grow, could keep their word, this would be a night of terror for those they came searching for. Though the voice of reason told him this couldn’t happen, Father Brown couldn’t help, but wonder, if the need for revenge was strong enough to resurrect the dead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All Hallows

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on September 30, 2017
Posted in: Can a heart be strong enough to survive the grave?, Fantasy, Ghost, ghost hunting, Gothic novel, Halloween, horror, Moving house, Paranormal, writing. Tagged: Fiction, Ghosts, Gothic, Halloween, Horror, Ireland, writing. Leave a comment

It’s been over a year since I last posted any of my stories. In that time I have moved house and am now living in the wilds of West Clare in Ireland. It is a place of quiet days and starry nights. There are no street lights to block out the night sky, so once twilight comes creeping, a vast amphitheater of stars appear and I can only gaze in awe at their beauty. The area lends itself as a muse to the horror writer, with strange scurrying in the bushes, grey fluttering bats and on the odd occasion, a barn owl glides by, a luminous ghost swooping across the grass in search of mice. There is a resident fox, who show no fear and will come right up to the window and now, as the nights grow darker, I see all manner of creature from the corner of my eye. But this does not excuse my neglect of my friends and for that reason, from next Friday and every week after that, I will be publishing a chapter of my unpublished novel, All Hallows. Rather a fitting title for the time of year, don’t you think? It’s an olive branch to make up for my absence and one I hope you will rather like. The prologue below will give you a taste of what is to come, enjoy.

 

These stories are not meant to soothe you. There will be no tranquil closing of the book as eyelids droop and senses surrender to sleep. These sensations belong to another time, when you believed such things the work of fiction, and the horror within them beyond the bounds of probability.

Now you’ve chosen to enter another world, a place where tales unfold from the pages of everyday life and Death. There’s no pretense, and they require little imagination in the telling. The human monsters, and you will encounter a few, are real. At times one or more personalities combine, but each one is made up of man’s cruelest traits. I make no excuses for their depravity, they have no redeeming features. Sadly, we all know such loathsome creatures.

The dead choose to speak for reasons of their own, and I allow them free rein. It takes a sensitive ear to distinguish the muffled cries from the spirit world, above those of the general hum-drum. It requires an open mind to realize internment beneath the cold earth is not the end.

So, read on and listen, as only you can, to the voices from beyond the grave. Share with them the human emotions of love, hate, fear, revenge and in the end, the most important of all acceptance and forgiveness.

Try to ignore the shadowy corners of the room; there’s nothing there. They are, what they appear to be, empty pockets of darkness. Sleep well.

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Moving house

Posted by Gemma Mawdsley Blog on January 3, 2016
Posted in: letting go, memories, Moving house. Tagged: letting go, memories of times past, moving house, new beginnings, new pastures. Leave a comment

Just 12 days to go before I leave my home of 26 years and head off for pastures new. The sorting of my “treasures” is the worst part, as things I once deemed important, are now being relegated in to different piles and boxes. I’m sure whoever finds them in the charity shop will deem them worthy of a new home. It’s the smells that assail the senses the most, as I fold clothes that my children grew out of long ago, but I was too sentimental to throw away. The scent of past summers are trapped within the fibres of  cool cottons and woolen, winter gloves, the fingers cement hard from snowball fights, bring a tear to my eye. As the countdown continues, I watch as all these things are carried to car boots and driven away and I feel a horror at their going.In time, I’m sure their memory will slip from my mind, but for now, I will mourn their going. Letting go is never easy.

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