If it were possible for a genie to grant me one wish, I know without a doubt what the wish would be. I don’t mean like world peace or the end to all sickness, I mean one personal wish just for me. I would ask for the ability to sleep whenever I wanted. For years I’ve been plagued by insomnia and today, after almost 43 hours without sleep, I have that awful hungover, fuzzy feeling that comes with lack of sleep. I find it very hard to get my mind to switch off and I suppose there are a lot of writers and artists who find this. I’ve tried everything from sleeping pills, that made me feel down the next day and Sunday night I took Valerian, which I was assured would knock out a horse, but neigh, I’m still awake.

My mind sometimes wonders back to my school days and bible teaching. I think of Christ in the garden at Gethsemane and his words to Peter and the sons of Zebedee, “could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” Perhaps, I am descended from one of these disciples and am now cursed to stand watch forever? It sometimes feels like this.

I am thinking of words this morning, as I prepare to write and how their meaning can effect and convey a true feeling. When someone had to cope with the most terrible of losses, it’s not enough to say they were crying or sobbing. I think weeping is a much better word and it says more about the human condition than either of the other words could. Weeping denotes the wretchedness of hope flown. It reaches into the soul and resounds through the ages. It really is the most pitiful of sounds.

I was amazed to read that our local university was offering a weekend course on developing your psychic ability and becoming a medium. Surely, if such a power exists, and who am I to say it doesn’t, then it comes naturally and is not something that can be learned? As I am interested in all things paranormal, I have gone to many shows where well-known mediums throw random comments at the audience and are those who are desperate enough to put their hand up when they say something like, “I have a John here, does that mean anything to anyone?” Oh please, you’re thinking, as I have, but remember this person who answers has lost someone they love and want reassurance that they are safe and in a better place.

I went to one medium who was doing private sessions. I wasn’t going in to see her, but went with a friend. As I grow older, I tend to avoid these people, as I believe that the spirit world should be left alone. A teenager went in before my friend and came out sobbing. I asked her what the matter was and she said that the medium said she saw her standing over an open grave before the year was out. Can you believe that, who in their right mind was say something like that to a child? My friend refused to keep her appointment after that, more from fear I think, than outrage and we spent the next few hours talking the young girl out of her fright. I read about another young mother who having lost her little girl went to one of these so called psychics and was told her little girl was crying for her in heaven!

I believe it is against the law in some countries to say you are psychic if you’re not, but who controls these things? If there are people who can speak to the dead then so be it, theirs is a rare gift and I respect that, but what about the others, the charlatans who prey on the vulnerable, do there really believe they can get away with the harm they cause? Let’s hope for their sake, that the world they so carelessly exploit is forgiving, otherwise there will be Hell to pay.